In 2018 we still lived in the big house on Holt Road. We were surrounded by loverly neighbours including a new neighbour Hugh Jamieson who was modernising a bungalow across the road from us.

He had found Mocha living on a Greek beach and at great cost and time had brought Mocha back to the UK. Mocha was a really lovely, very laid back dog and Alice loved him straight away. Hugh let us take his dog on walks (as long as we returned him) and one time I took a simple video capture device to make a short film.

Mocha didnt need the lead as such, he knew his way around and was never a problem. At the end of the video the kitchen is nearly redone – I just needed to put the flooring down, later that year we put the house on the market.

2018 was the last full year of a 9 year period where Alice’s cancer did not return. She had stamina and balance issues but she could do a long walk and enjoy it. Time spent with Alice like this was always precious but even more so now. Enjoying simple things, we were so fortunate.

words fail me.

Sarah loved Alice and Alice loved Sarah, cool to have an artistic Aunt and Alice had a few. Here is what Sarah says about the piece:

Alice seems to be smiling and more alive than in the actual photo. But I suppose I hold Alice more brightly in my mind than any photo ever can – Sarah Hedley

Alice loved a new visitor so when Jos from my old workplace in London came to stay the weekend she was pretty excited. He brought his little sailboat with him and we all went down to see him launch.
I remember the boat from the tiny front garden of his house in Brixton – pretty unusal sight for the area! He loved the sea.

Jos died young, about a month later than Alice in August 2022. It made me even sadder. Jos was a wonderful person and he became a friend as I taught him some Unix and VMS scripting in his job at the imaging department at Getty Images. Like Alice he was sensitive and beautyful.

I came across these transparencies from I think the year 2000 recently. This was before Alice became ill for the first time. Looking back now I find myself trying to find some kind of meaning in the pictures.

Alice Johnson and Jos Brosnan said goodbye to the world at pretty much the same time. Two worthwhile and good people lost to us. For us left behind we can only do our best to live without their gift. His partner, friends and collegues had Jos’s name added with others to the side of a lifeboat, a fitting tribute, helping to save peoples lives at sea is to be supported as much as researching cancer.

Donate to the RLNI:
https://rnli.org/support-us/give-money/donate

Donate to Brain Tumour Research:
https://www.braintumourresearch.org/donation

Alice and her aunty Sarah shared a common love of art. They communicated together, talking about their lives and they reflected their feelings in their art.

This new peice by Sarah Hedley made me cry, she both captures Alice in appearance and in her energies. Here are Sarah’s words about the peice:

Her favourite colours had evolved and she liked pastel purple, blue green, jade. Tigers’s paw is on her heart. The blue circle is her sadness at leaving us. The blue triangle is the peace and stability she found in her last days. The dashed line is her ascension to heaven. The red line is the faultline that ran thru her life of the tumour. The spiral is spiritual growth, path and infinity. The birds footprints is me walking in her life . The sunburst is healing light for us all.

Thank you Sarah. x

Alice’s Tesco jacket hung up in the craft room. The badge is to show that she joined Tesco in 2015. Behind the coat is an unused circular clamp frame she ordered from Amazon.
Alice had already bought a litter picking stick and with my help pushing her in a wheelchair she went around the sea front picking up litter from the prom. She wanted to do something useful. It was difficult putting the litter in the bin bag we had brought as it kept closing up so when we returned home she ordered the bin bag clamp to make it easier. We never did get to use it.

Going into Alice’s shower room you are met with some of Alice’s character. The houses of parliament duck was something she brought back from a school trip to London. She thought it was the silliest thing but had to buy it. The “scream” print she ordered online, again the love of the quirky. Her love of succulent plants is also evident.

Yesterday I was about to format an SD memory card and thought to look if there was anything on it first.

On it I found some short clips I had taken on 29/05/2022 with Alice having her breakfast and a few shots later in the day when we had gone up to Sheringham Park to see the rhododendrons in flower.

We were all aware that Alice’s tumour was regrowing but there was still some hope that it could be controlled with chemotherapy. We did not realise that within 6 weeks she would no longer be alive.

Alice did enjoy watching Youtube videos whilst she had breakfast. There is no sound here as she wore earbuds or her blu tooth hearing aids to better hear the sound from the iPad. Alice had grown used to me filming her and just ignored me. Later we went ot Sheringham park, Alice on her scooter and me on my bike. She loved the scooter, it always attracted attention and in the last shot you can see a lady smile at Alice as she passes.

Alice has always expressed an interest in small electric vehicles. Up till 2021 she had not needed any mobility support, up to 2019 she was able to walk for miles. She had lost confidence on her bike but walking was fine.

I miss my outings with Alice, I do remember this one was not quite as good as the previous ones, she was subdued, perhaps thoughtful of her uncertain future. I would like to think though for a few moments she enjoyed the flowers and being there.

Many thanks to Carol, Laura and Gary for buying a hand made butterfly in memory of Alice to support the Norfolk Hospice.
This butterfly was one of 2,500 that formed a display at Sandringham, the royal retreat in Norfolk. You can read more about the project here: https://www.forged-ironmongery.co.uk/product/butterfly/

Hospices make it easier for families deal with a loved one’s death. We feel fortunate that Alice was looked after at home in her last few days but that is not something that can happen every time and a hospice can be a home from home in those circumstances.

Alice loved butterlies, thank you Carol for giving this to remember her.

Thanks to everyone who wrote and talked to us about Alice and what she meant to them, we will not forget your support.

Out for a walk with Alice we come across Drippy Cat. This is our name for him, one we made up because when you stroke and scratch him his nose drips. He is a common site on the Boulevard in Sheringham but he is not always there. When we do come across him he is pleased to see us and it always brightened our day to see him.

Notice the cross stitch on Alice’s sleve, this interesting free form sewing forms a natural pattern that Alice spent some time doing.
Alice’s creativity is understated, her art is worn on her sleve but never pointed out.

Going for a walk with Alice was something we tried to do daily. Precious time with my daughter, I only realise how precious now.

In her own crafing work, particularly her cross stitching Alice liked small detail. She appreciated tiny objects that were intricate or interesting. A little bit of Alice lives on her display here. The small lego figure of an arctic photographer was sent by Sue Flood for Alice and the star on top (a late addition) comes from Roz Woodward. I only attached the case to the wall after Alice died, it had been just lent on the wall sitting on a radiator, I wish I had done the small act of putting it on the wall for Alice sooner, it would have been a little sign of love that Alice would have appreciated. Sorry Alice.

Click on the image once then zoom in to see the detail.

I collected Alice’s ashes this morning from Blyths of Sheringham. They were very kind and had put the cardboard tube into a plain bag. I had to hold the bag at the bottom as the tube was quite heavy. I decided to go home via the front so I could take Alice to see the sea and progress at the building site at the Burlington hotel on the front. When Alice as alive it was something we did quite often, I wish we could have seen it finished together, we both enjoyed watching the progress.
Alice would have liked the tube, we will take it to scatter sometime in the coming months. We would like to find a small woods on nearby heathland for her return to earth. I will let eveyone know the location when it is done.