Funeral

It has been one year since the service at Cromer where we said goodbye to Alice. Between Alice’s death and this ceremony was less than four weeks and Im not quite sure what happened other than we had a lot of support and help from other people.

Friday 5th August 2022. Starting at Montague Road, Sheringham approx 1:30pm.

The day started with rain. It had been hot and dry for weeks but that morning there was rain. By the time Alice was brought to the house it was sunny, dry and warm again.

Our daughter was inside a beautyful casket made of natural seagrass. On top was a floral tribute of localy grown flowers. Our neighbours had already left to be in place for the service so there was no one but me to see how Blyths of Sheringham approached the house. Walking slowly  in front of the car carrying Alices casket was Hayley, her hair dyed red and wearing a top hat, Alice would have loved her. The second car was to take myself, Jennie and my two sisters Jaqueline and Susan to Cromer Cremetorium. The rest is a bit of a blur. It was a good service in front of getting on for 100 people not all of which found room to sit.

The celebrant Izzy Rider had already proved we were in good hands when we had met her a few times before the day. She did an excelent job in setting the pace and tone., her words were well chosen. Later most people joined us at the Dales Country House Hotel including a sizeable number of Alice’s Tesco collegues. We are so very greatful to Izzy, the staff at the Cremetorium, Hayley and her team and the the staff at the Dales who all made the day a little more bearable.

It was a good send off for Alice but it would have been much better if she were alive and talking to everyone who wanted to celibrate her life. She would have loved it. We miss you so much Alice.

You can download a PDF of the order of service here: Order of Service

Hair once golden, now brown as earth,
Gives breath to the wild,

So precious you are worth,

So peaceable and mild.

Our friendship blossomed at Tesco, no less,
This link from me to you forever will stand,
An indent on me you have impressed,

Like the lines on the palm of my hand.

I’ll miss the way we used to talk,
About games and stranger things,
Your words a portal to your thoughts,
We were always so in sync.

So let this not be the last of us,
I’ll see you again,

We will have much to discuss,
Dear Alice, my friend.

You can download a PDF of the poem here: Emily-Allkins-a-poem-for-Alice.pdf

Thank you all for being here.

In her last days Alice said to us that she did not want to be forgotten which was a bit silly really as it would be impossible to do so. Alice is of course special to Jennie and I but what is extraordinary is the fact that she became special to so many other people. If you look at the messages we have received there are certain words that crop up often to describe Alice: stoic and inspirational are repeated phrases.

With the cards she was dealt in life she had every reason to be bitter but instead she was sweet, that is what I think people recognise.

Everyone here helped Alice through her life and I believe in return she helped us all too.

In September 2001 the world changed for us when Alice became very poorly and was taken into the Norfolk and Norwich where she was diagnosed with a brain tumour, We did not know if she would survive.

We are eternally grateful to the whole of the NHS and particularly the doctors and nurses who cared for Alice starting at Great Ormond street and the neurosurgeon  Dr Andar who operated for 12 hours and who saved Alices life.

We knew however this was just the start, Chemo was to follow. Our world was shaken. We were in shock. We looked into the pit of despair but decided not to descend into it. Early on we made a conscious choice not to become self-pitying, we stepped away from fear. We made Alice the focus of our efforts. As Jennie later said to the question “Why us” her answer was “why not us”. We knew from spending time in hospital with Alice that our situation was not unique, and we soon became aware of how fortunate we actually were.

Living in a children’s cancer ward opens your eyes. Alice progressed well through a rollercoaster of ups and downs but there were children there that were not so fortunate, meeting children one month and finding they had become paralysed, or died the next was shocking. We felt that we were truly fortunate, and we were.

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Alice, Mum and dad asked if I could share a bit of our humour SO

Your tactical approach to playing Frustration Was for want of a better word ‘frustrating’ You didn’t care so much about the winning as much as the pleasure you got from terrorising mum and I

The backwards rule you made up, definitely made for a more exciting game. You ruled the board, landing on us one at time, sending us home, always with a great big grin on your face

And how many times were you told “it’s Kirsty’s turn” as you popped the dice before I got a chance to. And oh my goodness did you tell mum off if she got distracted. And how you made me swear! I’ll miss the look of delight on your face and roar of laughter when Tiger-Lily made me jump.…. that damn cat!

The look of disgust when I ate your Ferrero Rocher.
The eye rolling when mum and I sang, Why? when we clearly have such talent And your often questionable advice when I had a problem.

Alice there are many more stories to share, and share we will.
Laughing when we can and crying if we need too.
Keeping your memory alive forever.

You can download a PDF of this here: Kirsty Alice Long